There Should be a Warning Label on Fruit

Today, I earned the "Embarassed to Tears" badge for my Mommy vest. Seeing as how the birth of Todd coincided with Hayley turning two, I've been racking up badges at an alarming pace in the past nine months. Unfortunately for me, today's award ceremony took the cake. We were sitting in the chiropractor's waiting room (because with Todd's reflux I'm trying everything imaginable to reduce the number of "I Got Spit Up On" badges I receive each day). Hayley was sitting in the umbrella stroller, innocently playing with a puzzle, until... the bodily functions of a two year old took over. At first, I though a Blackhawk was landing on the roof (boy, wouldn't that have been a relief). Finally, the "helicopter" landed. And in case there was any doubt of what had just occurred, my little darling said, "eh-cuse me." Because otherwise she would be impolite. Of course I had Todd strapped to me in the Baby Bjorn so I was unable to crawl under the nearest chair. Despite that every person's eyes in the VERY crowded waiting room were practically bugging out of their heads, I pretended to play it cool, like I hadn't heard anything. Perhaps in about ten years I'll be able to unpack my dignity from the little box in my drawer where it's been stuffed for the past two and a half years.

Note to self: Apparently there is a downside to feeding your child a diet that consists of lots of raw fruits and vegetables.