Another muffin breakfast Saturday...

... another appearance by the Muffin Top Monster. The "Monster" is getting increasingly bold. This time he dug his grubby monster paws into THREE muffins while Daddy was out for a run and Mommy was at the computer.

But Hayley? Oh, she saw the Muffin Top Monster and was able to give us a full report again, only this time she was MUCH more confident in her story. Apparently she's realized that we're big enough suckers that there's no reason for her to hide. Should I be concerned about how easy this story is for her to tell?? I told her that we needed to call the police and she dutifully and enthusiastically agreed to tell the police officer exactly what happened and would also give him a full description of the hairy, pink perpetrator with sharp teeth. Is lying to the police a felony or a misdemeanor?

The Muffin Top Monster

We've got a monster. A muffin top monster to be exact. I'd never heard of a Muffin Top Monster before, but apparently Hayley knows all about them. In a nutshell, Muffin Top Monsters eat muffin tops... while their bakers are in another room... and then they hide when the Daddy baker tells the Mommy baker that "something" has nibbled the top of the muffin that was sitting on top of the counter. I suppose the fact that they hide is a good thing though. Because at least we know that Muffin Top Monsters are aware that they aren't supposed to be eating muffin tops from the counter. It's good to have a monster with a conscience.

New Kid

We've adopted. And I'm doing my best to not think of our new "baby" as a red headed stepchild. But it's oh, SO HARD when this new kid has completely robbed me of any remaining coolness points I had left after the birth of Todd and Hayley. Todd and Hayley on the other hand think the new family member is the best thing ever. But they are young and foolish and I'm sure in 10 years the new kid will embarrass them as much as it does me. Meet the new kid:


Mark my words, my next car will be a two-door Ferrari.

To put it lightly, this was an emotional experience for me. Particularly since I swore up and down that I'd NEVER drive a minivan. But really, what's one more meal in the seemingly endless dinners of crow that compose parenthood? And, I've been able to provide some entertainment for those around me. Just days after bringing home my new baby, my parents sent me this lovely package in the mail:Thanks Mom and Dad! It only took me an hour to dry my tears and remind myself that my next car would be a Ferrari. I seem to be sliding down a very slippery slope... please, someone come slap me if you catch me wearing "Mom jeans."

My next car will be a Ferrari. My next car will be a Ferrari. My next car will be a Ferrari. My next car....

Patience is a virtue

... that we did NOT pass along to our offspring. I give you Exhibit A:

Monday morning Todd and I spent with Hayley at her school, participating in the 2010 Trikeathon to benefit St. Judes Children's Hospital. The kids spent the morning decorating the trikes and bikes before heading outside to do some laps in the parking lot. Memorable quotes from this year's Trikeathon:

Hayley (as we drove to school): "Mommy, Trikeathons ARE NOT for babies." (As she glared at Todd)

Grady - Hayley's classmate who she is in constant competition with for Alpha Dog status (To Todd when Todd walked up to Grady's bike): "Hey kid, this is MINE!" (To which I will add, 22 month old Todd is the same size as 4 year old Grady!!!!)

Hayley snags a good luck hug
And, they're off!
Hanging with the fellas
Todd, daydreaming about his shot at next year's Trikeathon!
Hayley pestering Grady

The Boy

For almost four years now, I've been certain that Hayley would do me in, be the end of me, finish me off. But now... I'm pretty certain that "The Boy" will be impetus the for my demise. Death by cardiac arrest. Because The Boy? The Boy does things that absolutely shock, amaze, and befuddle me. At the ripe old age of 22 months, The Boy has given me a glimpse inside the logic and inner workings of the male mind. And let me tell you ladies, it's a scary place.

For example... we've had some "issues" with The Boy and his penchant for throwing things in the trash can. His favorite thing to throw away are brand new pajama tops. After already sending one new pajama top to our local landfill, I caught him in the act... well, okay, after the act (and a few banana peels, coffee grinds, and other assorted trash nastiness). However, I was able to salvage the new monkey pajama set. Well aware of my little deviant's tendencies, after undressing The Boy the other night I gave him his clothes and told him to go put them in the hamper, which he knows is located in the closet of our master bedroom. I watched him like a hawk as he ran past the trash can and into our bedroom. Feeling pretty darn pleased with my abilities to train my offspring in the ways of proper clothing disposal, I went about the rest of my before bed chores. After feeding the kids and getting them ready for bed, I hustled off to my room to grab something when I saw this: And thought, "Oh no.... tell me he didn't." But oh. Yes. He. Did. The Boy? Tossed his pants in the toilet. The Boy 1 Mommy 0

And then there was this morning, when I walked into the playroom to find the chair in a peculiar relation to the ball pit. I then witnessed The Boy do something (below) that required me to take several deep breaths and accept the fate that I will most likely be visiting an emergency room with The Boy in the near future. I can't tell you how thrilled I am that The Boy is teaching his sister to do things like this!!

Why do I bother?

For the past few weeks, we've been trying to slowly transition Todd to a "big boy bed." Our grand plan is to have both the kids share a room. Our reasons for this are twofold. We definitely want them to "bond," and feel like sharing a room for a few years while they are young will be great for their relationship, along with teaching them the fine art of sharing and consideration for others. (I know, delusions of grandeur... quite possible.) The second reason, is simply space. We've got 4 bedrooms in this house. Mom and Dad have called dibs on one, we've reserved one as an office/guest room, and we'd really like to have one room dedicated to be a playroom and homeschooling room where we can put a large table, lots of books, and just have a place the kids can go and do their own thing.

So, we'd bought Todd and Big Boy Bed and placed it in Hayley's room. He was pretty excited about it, but when the time came, he was NOT about to sleep in it. We decided that it was better to move his crib into Hayley's room and at least get him used to sleeping in her room and then try to move him back to the Big Boy Bed. So this weekend while Brian moved the crib, I spent several hours going through toys in Todd's baby room (the playroom). I sorted everything, matched toys back up, etc. The room was sparkling clean and had it's fung shui going on. Now, I am a realist and I totally didn't expect that the toys would stay sorted, but I really didn't expect that leaving Todd unattended for 5 minutes while I helped Hayley get dressed would result in this:
Apparently he was trying to find his Elmo phone!! Why do I bother??

WHAT an experience!

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. It was absolutely the COLDEST time! It was an amazing experience and one I know I will never forget. It was the coldest on record, 2010 Disney Marathon. Yes, I survived, barely, and have lived to blog another day!My marathon experience began with an amazing surprise as I walked into the lobby of our hotel to see MY PARENTS standing there!! Completely unbeknownst to me, they had hopped on a plane the day before and flew down to Orlando to be there for my big day. After we checked into the hotel, we relaxed and chatted for a few minutes before heading to T-Rex in Downtown Disney to meet some of the IronMommies and their families for a pre-race meal. After a fun dinner, I headed off to the room I was sharing with two other IronMommies at the Carribean Beach Resort while Brian, Hayley and my parents headed back to our off Disney property hotel. Disney Marathon morning traffic is a NIGHTMARE and we decided the best option was for me to stay on property and ride the shuttle bus into the race.

Sunday morning we got up at 2:45am (not that it mattered because sleep was impossible at that point) and began LAYERING!! The feels like temperature was 19 degrees and if you're familiar with Florida weather, you know that the coldest part of the day is right at sunrise. This meant that it was only going to get colder while we were running. We caught the bus at 3:30am and were dropped off at the race start around 3:45am. The race didn't start until 5:40am so we had a good 2 hours to use the potties, check our bags, fret, and FREEZE.

But finally, we started making our way to the start corrals and before I knew it, the first wave had started and the START sign was within view. As we ran under the fireworks and passed the crowds who had braved the incredibly cold weather to see the start of the race, I couldn't help but start crying... I was actually doing this!!

The first few miles were pretty uneventful. It was dark and it seemed like we kept going up and down exit ramps as I was anticipating the entrance into Epcot. Finally, around mile 2 we passed through the turnstile for the Epcot parking lot entrance and I could see the big, white globe that Epcot is known for. Running through Epcot in the dark was awesome. The torches were lit around the lake, the World Showcase lights were flashing, and the music was loud. Before I knews it, we were out of Epcot and the long trek up to Magic Kingdom had begun. By this point, I could finally feel my toes again and I thought I might be okay with the weather. I still hadn't shed any of my layers of clothing and wasn't at all warm enough that I even considered it.

We passed the main entrance for Magic Kingdom and were making our way down to the Ticketing and Transportation Center. I looked for Brian, Hayley, and my parents in the sea of people as they were considering trying to catch me at mile 9, but I didn't spot them. We passed The Contemporary Resort and the next thing I knew we were turning the corner to run up Main Street. What an awesome feeling that was!! The street was packed with people and Disney characters as we made our way towards the Castle. We took a turn into Tommorowland, to Fantasyland before running through the castle. We ran through Frontierland and began to exit Magic Kingdom when I texted Brian and found out I had missed them on Main Street. I was kind of bummed out that I missed them since I knew that I wouldn't catch back up with them until the finishline. I started mentally preparing myself for what I knew would be a rough stretch down to Animal Kingdom. You exit Magic Kingdom at mile 11 and don't see another park until Animal Kingdom after mile 16. It seemed like the instant we left Magic Kingdom the wind picked up and I began to get REALLY cold. Just to give you an idea of HOW cold it was, the water and Powerade offered at the water stops was part slushee and they were throwing sand on the ground because discarded drinks had frozen over and the waterstops were like an ice arena! I tried hard not to focus on my misery, but by mile 15 I was starting to get really worried about how cruddy I was feeling this early into the run.

As we made our way into the back entrance of Animal Kingdom, my quad muscles began just literally seizing up to the point that it stopped me in my tracks. I've done several 20 mile plus training runs and NEVER encountered a problem like this before. I could only attribute what was going to the fact that I was colder than I'd ever been in my life. The rest of the race became an all out brawl between my mind and my legs. At this point, we were seperated from the other IronMommies and I was running with my best buddy, Robyn. We'd made a pact to cross the finishline together and I felt terrible that I was slowing her down. I told her to "leave me," but she refused! She also refused to walk for that matter, so I did my best to run as much as I could until my legs absolutely stopped and I'd walk for a tenth of a mile before picking my pace up to catch back up with her. We made it out of Animal Kingdom and began the absolute most trecherous part of the course. It was an out and back on the Disney highway with a huge on-ramp hill at the end of the trek. Alongside the road I noticed several of the Team in Training posters that showed pictures of patients fighting cancer and what LLS donations were going to support. I teared up looking at all the posters and reminded myself that the pain I was feeling was NOTHING compared to what these children and adults were going through. I couldn't help but think of my Dad who was waiting for me at the finishline. Last year at this time he received his melanoma diagnosis. And this year, I was going to make darn sure that he watched me complete my first marathon, cancer free!! It definitely kept me going!

Finally, I made my way up that horrible, wretched on ramp. Finally, I was turning into Hollywood Studios. I haven't been to Hollywood Studios and the scenery was pretty cool, but at that point I was beyond miserable and just couldn't enjoy it. I finally hit the Boardwalk. Robyn and I both kept telling each other we were going to do this (in between sniffles). Finally we saw the sign for mile 25 and knew we were on the homestrech. We made our way around the big Epcot ball again and immediately started searching high and low for the gold robed choir that indicates you're at mile 26. FINALLY, we spotted them and both started crying. Gospel music has never in my life sounded so good. We picked up our pace and made our way around the Epcot entrance where we spotted the most glorious letters known to man: F-I-N-I-S-H!!! It felt like we were sprinting as we crossed the finishline! (My Garmin says we weren't.) As we walked through the finish chute and received our medals, the reality of what I'd just accomplished began to sink in. We picked up our bags from the baggage claim and I finally spotted my family and hobbled over to them!
Brian and I
My parents and Hayley
Robyn (my race partner) and I with tears of joy!

After the race, I had to walk probably another half mile to make it to the monorail which took us back to Ticketing where Brian had parked the car. I have NEVER been so stiff and sore in my entire life. I took the best scalding shower I've ever had back at the hotel and rested for a bit before we headed off to Maggianno's for a celebration dinner.

26.2 has changed my life. If I can do this, ANYONE can. Not only did I overcome the distance, but the freezing weather which was a HUGE impediment for me. The sense of accomplishment gained from this journey is significant beyond all measure. Never in my life did I ever imagine that "I" would be able to accomplish a marathon, much less as a mother of two. But I did... I am a "MARATHONER!!" And I have the golden mouse ears to prove it!

If you can dream it, you can do it!
- Walt Disney!

WHAT am I doing?????

For the past two weeks now, I've been on the verge of a complete mental breakdown. This time period would just happen to coincide with the beginning of my taper period for the Disney Marathon. I've been sure to take that extra time and energy that I haven't expended on long runs and put it to something productive... like FLIPPING OUT! Luckily, a record breaking deep freeze has come along JUST IN TIME to relieve me of my worry of merely running 26.2 miles. Because now? Now, I can focus all my energy on how I'm going to avoid hypothermia for 26.2 miles. The running part should be easy peasy!! Now I know you're thinking, "isn't this chick from Colorado?? Shouldn't she know how to handle the cold?" But lest you forget! I signed up to run a marathon in FLORIDA. If I had ANY desire to participate in an arctic race, I would have signed up for the Iditarod and trained Chloe to pull my sled! The thought of contending with 20 to 30 degree temperatures on race day never once entered my mind. Welcome to the Sunshine State!

And so after spending the past 6 months eating, sleeping, and dreaming running, I'm not about to let a little frozen tundra deter me from marathon glory. I will cry (not too much 'cause my tears might freeze), I will curse (under my breath, don't want to seem unlady like at the 'happiest place on earth'), and I will whine (a whole heck of a lot), but it will be worth it when I receive my frozen mouse ears medal (note to self: don't kiss medal, lips might stick). And I'm sure I will "finish with more character than when I started." I'll also finish with more blisters, more chafing, more swelling... but I digress.

Hayley, Brian, and I will be heading over to the House of Mouse on Saturday morning. Mr. Todd and Chloe are going to hold down the fort at Nana and Papa's. I most likely will not update this blog before my day of doom, but will be twittering for the @IronMommies and will try and get the twitter feed on the blog so you can follow all the race day festivities. You can also checkout the IronMommies blog for additional updates and our Twitter feed! If you need to get in touch with me between the hours of 6pm Sunday and 7am, oh, let's go with... Wednesday, you can find me soaking in my Epsom Salt filled, HOT bathtub defrosting.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from The Roberts to all of our readers! We had a very blessed day and spent the morning enjoying Santa's bounty. Hayley must have been a good girl because Santa brought the scooter she's been pining for. We then hosted Christmas Dinner for The Griswalds, errr, I mean The Roberts! :-) Dinner was topped off by a special Chocolate Beet Birthday Cake for Jesus, prepared by Hayley. And now Mrs. Claus is off to bed for she has an early morning 15 mile run scheduled to work off all the birthday beet cake. We'll leave you this Christmas Day with a carol from Miss Hayley again. On the way to look at Christmas lights last night she sang us this gem. It's her own rendition of Jingle Bells... note the voice inflection for the word "All." And note that despite my futile attempts at correction, it is NOT "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh," but rather "Old MacDonald wants to ride in a one horse open sleigh!"

Our Apologies

Unfortunately, Christmas cards from the Roberts just aren't happening this year. I know you're terribly disappointed and I PROMISE that they will return next year. In lieu of a card, we thought we'd let Hayley send Christmas wishes through the art of "caroling."

Tis the Season

No Christmas would be complete without a Santa and tortured child picture, and this year we were happy (not really) to provide the subject.

Hayley was tickled pink to tell Santa all about what she wanted and could barely contain herself when she finally saw him. Stranger anxiety has never been in her vocabulary. Todd on the other hand is a bit of a tease. He waved excitedly at Santa, but sitting on his lap was apparently NOT what he had in mind. Hayley let Santa know that she would like some Lightning McQueen slippers and a scooter and that Todd wanted a truck. We had to convince her to tell Santa that Todd wanted a truck... because Hayley was insisting that Todd wanted a princess music box!! We're holding our breath that Santa will actually stop here... it's been a rough month for the princess! Hayley seems unconvinced that she could possibly wind up with a lump of coal in her stocking!

Due to my lack of organization when it came to Santa sightings, we had to visit the mall Santa. Lesson learned... next year I will get my act together because the scene felt a bit too much like this and I kept waiting for the elves to push Little Toddy down a slide!

He's probably not going to be to happy...

...that I've posted pictures of him holding the little pink purse...
...that he carries his furry, little, white dog around in!!
A good Mommy has to start building her blackmail collection at a young age!!

November - Cliff Notes Version

Oh, blog. How I've missed thee. It's been over a month since my last update and we've been... um... let's just say, busy. So here's a quick recap of the month:

We celebrated Halloween with Little Miss Muffet and her ornery spider friend!

The week consisted of trunk or treating and various treating episodes through local businesses and our neighborhood.

Next we moved onto a visit from Mimi and Grandpa and Hayley's first haircut.

Shortly after Mimi and Grandpa returned to Colorado, Todd got fed up with the chicks in the house...

...and tried to runaway.

He decided that if he couldn't escape, he'd do his best to torture his Mommy with his mischievious ways. This is the grin I get everytime I tell him "no!" It's maddening!!

We enjoyed a Thanksgiving Feast at Hayley's school where she let everyone know how thankful she is for... ballerinas???

A family trip to Sea World was enjoyed by all. Hayley and Daddy got to ride the Shamu roller coaster...

... while Todd fell in love with the puffins.

And on the way home from Sea World, hell froze over.

Oh, and somehow in the middle of all this, I squeaked out over 120 miles of running, to include one of the most torturous 13.1 miles of my entire life. Let's just say I've built a lot of character this month!

With November behind us, we're looking forward to the holidays and the beginning of new and better year!

Pumpkin Patch

Saturday afternoon we went to pick out our pumpkin. We left the patch with two REALLY cute pumpkins and one that will be perfect to carve!

Bedtime Prayer

Hayley says The Lord's Prayer every night before bed... sometimes she gets it confused with the Pledge of Allegiance! :-) Not bad for a three year old!

Weekend Update

Here's the latest on the Pants-less Todd saga. After three blissful nights, I began to think my problems had been solved by a trusty Pull Up. Alas, my faith was shattered last Tuesday morning when I went to get my little "T" up for the day and was shocked and dismayed to find he had basically pulled his Pull Up so far up that he'd given himself a monstrous wedgie. The Pull Up was unable to contain what it should have and I spent the morning washing sheets. Thinking it was a fluke, I anxiously went to pick my little peanut up the next morning only to end up washing sheets again. And yes, I was dumb enough to put him in a Pull Up again on Wedneday night. And guess what I did on Thursday morning? You got it... washed sheets. After learning my lesson, I sat Captain Commando down on Thursday night and told him that he was absolutely too young to be wearing a thong. I then told him that if he wanted to mess with the bull, he was going to get the horns... as I proceeded to put his diaper on backwards, covered by a really sassy pair of his sister's underpants. The result? Let's just say I haven't washed the sheets since last Thursday!!

It's Monday and I need a recovery nap after a busy weekend! We welcomed some WONDERFUL cool weather to Florida this weekend and got to spend most of the weekend enjoying it outdoors. Saturday morning started out bright and early with my usual long run. I'm up to 20 miles and feeling a bit like The Little Engine. "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..." make it to 26 miles. I'm pretty sure I will cry if next Saturday's temps go back to the hot, humid temps that I've become so accustomed to. A cool breeze is such a welcome training partner right now!

Saturday afternoon we headed down into Sarasota so Brian and Hayley could compete in a race. This was Hayley's first official race. She's been practicing for a race since the day she took her first step!! She competed with about 15 other three and four year olds and had a blast!

Ready to Race!
Every runner knows the importance of a good warm up!
Receiving her medal!


Brian then geared up for the big boy race! It was a cross country 5k and he took THIRD in his age group! Now I know where Hayley gets her speed (because it's certainly not from me!!!)

Speeding across the finish line

My competitors!

Aunt Etta, Uncle Lee, Nana, Papa, and even Chloe came to cheer them on!

A fun family outing