This letter serves as a formal reminder that your tenancy of the herein described premises will end on April 17th, 2008. You have been allowed to reside rent free for the past ten months and during this time the Landlord has graciously expanded the "building" for you. However, the Landlord is quite certain that any additional expansions will cause significant damage to the structure. It is clear that your needs have outgrown your existing quarters and the Landlord is adamant that it is time for you to "move on out," so to speak.
Despite the backaches, permanent aversion to certain foods, stretch marks, indigestion, and other assorted "damages" incurred by your tenancy, the Landlord has happily prepared new living quarters for you. However, the Landlord has stated that it will be unacceptable for you to kick the walls of your new residence as you seem to be accustomed to doing.
Should you fail or refuse to vacate said premises by the agreed upon date of lease termination, the Landlord WILL take actions not limited to the use of pineapple, walking, and red raspberry leaf tea to evict you from the premises.
Now, start packing!
Love,
The Landlord
2 comments:
Gettin' a wee bit antsy there, Mommy? C'mon...your due date's not even here yet! Let the poor kid finish baking! ;)
Yep, I'm ready and am living in fear of an induction so the sooner this kid wants to get this show on the road the better!
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