I'm still pregnant. And as much as I'm physically ready to not be pregnant, I think emotionally I'm actually kind of glad to still be pregnant. It's not that I'm not excited to meet our new family member, but rather that the significant life change that is about to occur is just beginning to hit me. For almost two years Brian and I have showered just about every ounce of our attention on our precious little girl and the thought that we'll soon be dividing our attention is somewhat heartbreaking for me. I know that providing Hayley with a sibling will be a wonderful thing, but in the emotional haze that these remaining weeks of pregnancy have left me in, I'm still trying to convince myself that I'm not betraying our little girl.
I've been told that toddlers are much more perceptive and understand much more than we think. If that's the case, then I'm certain that Hayley knows life is about to change in a big way for her. In the past week she has given me a very strong introduction to why they're called the "terrible twos." Tantrums have been a daily occurrence in our household and I consider it a good day if we make it through with just one meltdown. Thank goodness she's cute.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure that just being cute is going to help either of us out with Hayley's most recent quandry. My daughter is fascinated with all things transportation oriented. Trains, planes, boats, cars, motorcycles, tractors, trucks (particularly trucks). (You didn't expect her to be interested in dolls and princesses did you?) Hayley knows what each of these modes of transportation are and she'll tell you when she sees one along with make the sound that each one makes. Yep, I should be proud of my little scholar. The problem is with her pronounciation. Hayley has problems getting that "tr" sound out and instead makes an "f" sound so train becomes "fain" and truck becomes... well, you get my drift. We can't take a car ride without my not quite two year old yelling a series of what most people would consider to be expletives in the backseat. Although the weather is nice I don't dare roll down my windows and let the fresh air in. I live in fear... never knowing when Hayley is going to see a "truck."
1 comment:
I'm having serious dejavu! Check out this link from another blogger I frequent: http://humblemusings.com/archives/2008/02/22/that-christian-family-with-all-the-kids/
(you may have to cut and paste)
Oh, Shelly, I feel for you about Hayley's world being about to change. It is true though, what they say about your love not being divided among more children, but multiplied! I promise, I can attest to that. I remember feeling so sure that we could never love another child as much as Emma. Then, upon coming home from the hospital with Garfield I felt guilty, wondering if I did indeed love Emma as much as my new little son! (Of course I did, but you know how postpartum hormones work.) It's proven true with #3 as well.
You love them all so much, perhaps even more after seeing them in their sibling role! (Kinda like when you get to see your hubby as a Daddy.) Only things get so much better because the Lord uses each family member to shape and mold the others (parents included) more and more into His likeness.
I remember crying so hard as we left for the hospital to have #2--I broke down when I looked at Emma, a bewildered little 2 1/2 year old sitting there with my parents. All I could think of was that when we walked back through that door, things would never be the same.
Well, I was right. Things never HAVE been the same. But they're so much better (for Emma, too), that none of us have ever looked back! :)
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